Everything Nurses >> Nursing Humor >> Top Ten Most Commonly Used Nursing Phrases (humor)

+3

Top Ten Most Commonly Used Nursing Phrases (humor)

8,044 Views
49 Replies Flag as inappropriate
334194_4082566659164_677343731_o_max50

202 posts

back to top

Posted almost 4 years ago

 

Top Ten Most Commonly Used Nursing Phrases


10. “No, really, I don’t mind changing the TV channel for you…again.”

  9. “I’m sorry, it’s not THAT kind of Tylenol.”

  8. “You won’t feel a thing.”

  7. “Because your doctor said so.”

  6. “This won’t hurt a bit.”

  5. “I swear, if that patient rings the call bell one more time…”

  4. “No, I will NOT give you a sponge bath (to patients perfectly able to do for themselves)!”

  3. “Your gonna feel a little stick.”

  2. “How can I help you?” (at least a BILLION times a shift!)

  1. “Doctor, I’m sorry to wake you, but…” (but we don't mind this one)

 


Becky Swannack

Photo_user_blank_big

273 posts

back to top
+1

Rated: +1 | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

"If you can't treat em,then street em.....you've gotta tag em,then bag em!"

334194_4082566659164_677343731_o_max50

202 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

that was cute


Becky Swannack

334194_4082566659164_677343731_o_max50

202 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

than you  NapreneZ for the info LOL sounds Like a great show  take care thanks for your response


Becky


Becky Swannack

Dsc00484_max50

7 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 4 years ago

 

It will be quick!


I use that a lot.

Dscf0899_max50

36 posts

back to top
+2

Rated: +2 | Posted over 3 years ago

 

No your baby is not mature at 34 weeks and yes you do need to be pregnant longer!

334194_4082566659164_677343731_o_max50

202 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

LOL CUTE!


Becky Swannack

04_max50

7 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Haha,really cute.


 


www.ifsneaker.com

-15 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

and to that pill seeker that shows NO signs of pain..................."no, it is not time for your pain pill, yet"

P1010123_max50

24 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

Your grew..You move it!

Chi_chi_doing_a_head_dance_006_max50

1360 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

patient appears to be sleeping with eyes closed and snoring, when arroused rates pain 10 on the pain scale of  0-10


 how do you rate your pain


 

Photo_user_blank_big

3 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

 I love some of these comments. How about this. "Can I get something to eat before I am discharged and oh by the way I will need a cab pass". "What do you mean you don't have sample medications"? I can't afford my antibiotics but I will get the pain mediation filled. What pharmacy is open at this hour? 

John_001_max600_max50

2085 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted over 3 years ago

 

GITANO says ...



Wake up pt. for sleeping pill ordered by doctor



Actually, depending on the type of pain and the medication the patient is on for it, waking up a patient to give it to them can be important. Someone suffering from a very bad chronic pain might wake up with tremendious pain if the scheduled dosage is not maintained and it might take a lot more medication to bring him back to a normal pain tolorance. 


John L. Racher RN, BSN, MSRN-BC
nursejohn@ymail.com
Relaxation Consulting
Writing Therapy

One should study Philosophy, Archeology and History: Because
being confronted by the past, changes one's sense of the present.

Photo_user_blank_big

273 posts

back to top
+1

Rated: +1 | Posted about 3 years ago

 

" I was always reminded when leaving any voicemail message for an anticipated, physician callback,


  **Please leave date / time / your full name with status /facility and reason for call **


  I had worked with one House MD who proceeded to verbally rant / abuse the nursing staff,replying...


 "What?! DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID OR SOMETHING?!!"( True story...)

Me_in_cocceticut_max50

25447 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted about 3 years ago

 

love it

Me_in_cocceticut_max50

25447 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

don't moce

Me_in_cocceticut_max50

25447 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

I;/go get yor meds now!

008_max50

7788 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

don't worry, everything will be fine


A good man loves other. A better man loves God. A great man loves God and lives well among others! I miss you daddy!

Me_in_cocceticut_max50

25447 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

this will burn just a bit.

Me_in_cocceticut_max50

25447 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

I Have heard that one  LOL


Count backwards from 100

334194_4082566659164_677343731_o_max50

202 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

no morphine is not for a scratch!!!


Becky Swannack

334194_4082566659164_677343731_o_max50

202 posts

back to top
+1

Rated: +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

dont worry ive done this a thousand times before...


Becky Swannack

334194_4082566659164_677343731_o_max50

202 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

smile and nod


Becky Swannack

008_max50

7788 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

It will be okay


A good man loves other. A better man loves God. A great man loves God and lives well among others! I miss you daddy!

Me_in_cocceticut_max50

25447 posts

back to top
+2

Rated: +2 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

you put what where??

Larry_3_26_09c_max50

45 posts

back to top
+1

Rated: +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

Let me help you out of bed. I'll assist you with making a couple of laps around the nursing station.

Me_in_cocceticut_max50

25447 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

you did what

Me_in_cocceticut_max50

25447 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

who called off

Larry_3_26_09c_max50

45 posts

back to top
+1

Rated: +1 | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

1. You have to breathe "IN" when using your incentive spirometer! Now show me what you've got!


2. Yes you can marry me if you have enough money.

100_0608_max50

1625 posts

back to top
Rate

Rate This | Posted almost 3 years ago

 

sit down please!

Next Page >