I am trying really hard not to be judgemental but I am finding this really hard and I dont how to handle this.  A fellow co-worker of mine, male, was arrested last weekend.  He was a no call no show both Sunday and Monday nights, he called me Tuesday, told me he whas been arrested and would be going to court that following Thursday. 

Meanwhile, an article in the paper comes out saying he was arrested for attempted rape, assault and battery, and destruction of property. I found out yesterday they are in talks about terminating him, did some background check to make sure they didnt miss anything during the prescreen before hiring.

He has been calling me and I have been avoiding his calls.  I dont know what to say.  I know "innocent until proven guilty" but I am just having a really hard time with this, and I dont know what to do or say.

Honestly, reserve being judgemental when you do decide to answer his call.   Be careful.  What if he did do those  bad things like that. By not talking to him, he'll be getting paranoid to add something else to the whole mess.  Right now thinks of you as a friend.  If he thinks everybody is "out to get him" in regards to the job and the legal crap, he might add you to part of that everybody else.  Id go ahead and answer his call.   I wouldn't speak about work to him, but that's gonna be all he wants to talk about probably.  Playing dumb is safest.  If he insists on probing for research into it, I would tell him up front that you cant risk getting involved with the situation "cant sounds better than dont want to'  in case  <thats 2 words>.   what if he really did rape that person and do all the other stuff?  I'd just lay it out to him, if he continues to harrass you with phone calls, you cant talk about this, then  let somebody know.  Id start with your supervisor and tell her what's happened..........not for gossip purposes, but for your safety.  Also, you only recieved the call from him, and you didn't call him..........had screened calls and was hesitant to talk to him at all, but were worried that it might enrage him if you continued to screen your calls with him.  Rape is an act of violence, not attraction/and isnt sex to the rapist...........its power.  I would call the police if you feel you are being stalked in any way.   Call the police if he shows up at your front door.   Use caution.  I cant stress that enough.   Maybe someone on NL would be a better person than me to give you advice..........lawyer stuff that is.  Nursing advice...........fine, Id be your nursing advice person any day, and if I didnt know the answer to the problem, I know who to get the answer..........I have all types of advisors in that department.  2 people on NL you might want to touch base with on this would be Lawyer RN................and Captain Ron..............I think both of them are lawyers as well as nurses.k?  Now for the paranoia thing that might be setting in................too bad CD quit NL.   Too bad.  She's now a nurse practioner for psych issues.  I feel bad because I might have been part of the reason she left.   I wasnt even mean.   I was doing what ................she called it bible thumping..., lol.  Ive tried to watch what I say on NL...............I have a friend that is not a christian, she's Jewish.   Man, I think she left before I started bible thumping.....I miss her, she's great.and a brilliant nurse who is working for the Army, or was it Marines?  These are 3 people who could give you sound advice and lead you to the safest way to handle this.   Not just your physycal safety <actually thats my #1 thing>, but they could give you advice over legal proglems that could arise if you do get involved.  Or worse, you dont get invoved but HE could make it appear you were involved. 

Good luck, you'll be in my prayers tonight.

Angie