51 postsback to top
Posted over 4 years ago
A man from a small town goes to a big city to become a lawyer. He finishes school and returns back home and opens his own practice. The business was very slow and in one day a guy comes in. To look good, like a lawyer that had many clients, he picks up the phone and pretends that he is talking business.
-My client will not settle for less than a million dollars, says our lawyer. Tomorrow, in court, we will win more than this if you don't accept our conditions, then he turns to the man who just came in saying:
-Sorry, to make you wait. How can I help you?
-I am from the phone company and I came to connect your phone, sir, replies the man.
A man boards an airplane carring a small and noisy yellow bird. The flight attendant informs him that no birds are allowed on the plane, so the man goes back in the airport and hides the bird in his pants and comes back on board sitting next to a young and beautiful nun. The man keep looking at the nun's legs, admiring them until he falls asleep. The little bird comes out through his pants zipper and starts singing. The nun wakes him up very worried.
-Sir, I am no expert in this but I think that one of your eggs just cracked.
An auto mechanic dies and goes to heaven. Very upset, goes to St. Peter saying:
- I am only 35 years old, in perfect health, I never drank or smoked, I don't do drugs, I am not married and I sleep at least 8 hours per night. You must have made a mistake. Why am I dead?.
St. Peter pulls the guy's file out and says:
- You see.....now I see the problem. We calculated all the hours that you said you worked on your clients cars and we got that you were 100 years old.
A bear is chasing a rabbit in the woods.
-I'll catch you stupid rabbit, says the bear, when a frog stops them.
-I am a magic frog and I can make 3 wishes of yours become true. Who wants to be first?
The bear:- I want all the bears in this wood to be females, except me.
The rabbit:- I wish for a halmet. The bear was puzzeled not knowing why the rabbit wished for a helmet.
The bear:- I wish that all the bears in this country will be females, except me.
The rabbit:- I wish for a super fast mini motorcycle. The bear's dilema grew bigger.
The bear:- For my third wish I want all the bears on this planet to be females, except me.
The rabbit puts his helmet on, gets up on the motorcycle and while starting the engine he says:- For my third wish, I wish that the bear was gay.
1769 postsback to top
| Posted over 4 years ago
I LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!