I sometimes have to sit a disoriented person who talks to me as if I was his wife, and it's quite obvious that he used to abuse her. He threatens to beat me and says things like, "You're not coming into this house looking like that!" and just really upsetting name-calling and slurs, combined with pleas that he's not going to hurt me, which sounds like classic abusive behavior. He always refers to me by her name. I understand that he is confused and needs care just like any other human being in a bad place, and I provide that care to the best of my ability, but I still find myself feeling stressed and morally resentful about him. Has anyone else had any similar experiences, and if so, what do you do about it? My faith and ethics has been a bit of help, but as for practical solutions, I'm a little bit lost. 

 yues i honestly agree with mr brown   i have been bitten, hitt, cursed , tripped   22 years of nursing experience here.  and it is all part of the job

if you truely get more than your feelings hurt you should fill out accident incident  report and report right away to charge nurse

behaviors should be reported to charge nurse and documented  so propper care plans are in plaqce

We all have that "special" patient. The one you dread to care for. You take a deep breath, make sure the smile is there, and enter the room. although you do this on a daily basis and know the routine by heart, they always complain that you dont know what your doing. I have one such patient. I thank god for my co-workers who reassure me that I am not the only one the patient chastizes. But, I still would like to know why these patients find such pleasure in being so nasty to the ones who try so hard to make their lives easier.......

well heres my latest story... Last saturday as assisting a patient to get dress he grabbed my arm and pulled so hard he popped my shoulder, 3 times he pulled. I am on modified duty. Yes he is nasty.. I keep telling myself that it is the Alzheimers not the man.. still doesnt stop the pain.....

Hi !  to all the caring and wonderful CNA, keep up the good work, because you'll  the backbone to nursing without your tender love and caring heart, we would be no where without you. Be patient and kind to each and every patient you come into contact with, regardless of mental status, racial background, social status, and ecomonic status. I have learn as a post CNA and license nurse, a person will and always will treat you like you treat them, no matter what their status is. Always have a smile and a wonderful conversation  or greeting for your patient, they will be enlighted that your smile is so bright as you enter the room and laugh with them and not at them. I know we all have our days that we don't want to laugh, but keep something funny in mind to remind yourself to laugh and smile at.   Love Cynthia 

I have definitely had those types of experiences, oddly enough it is often the one's that most people can't deal with that end up being my favorites. The one's I really have trouble with are those who take advantage of the fact that they are in a nursing home, the ones who think because they are in a facility and we are there to care for them that they can say whatever they want...

So far, in my close to four years at work in a nursing home with more hours in the alzheimer's Unit, I had only few resistance or abuse from a resident.  Verbal abuse, I don't listen to it.  I don't take them personally.  Physical abuse, well, maybe some scratches on my arms but nothing serious.  We have to learn where to position ourselves when taking care of an agitated resident. In every behavior there is a message that they want us to know but they can not verbalize them well.  If a resident at first does not want to cooperate either to get dressed, wash up, brush teeth, take a shower, or take his meds...I will just leave him for a while and then reapproach. I get to do about 2 or 3 approaches and I get lucky every time.

We had a little lady who used to bite, kick, and hit CNA's when taking a shower.  I did her once with the help of our nurse because she was so resistive in the shower.  The next time I took her to the shower, I asked why she was so angry and/or scared in the Tub Room, and she said "do not wet her all over from head to toe all at once", of course, these were not her exact words, I just assumed that was her message because of her body language. So I started by giving her a soapy wash cloth and told her to go ahead and wash herself, and then started washing her arms, legs, body, and then hair, it worked! We had to reassure her that "it's alright, do not be scared, we will do it quick"!

margaritka says ...

 I sometimes have to sit a disoriented person who talks to me as if I was his wife, and it's quite obvious that he used to abuse her. He threatens to beat me and says things like, "You're not coming into this house looking like that!" and just really upsetting name-calling and slurs, combined with pleas that he's not going to hurt me, which sounds like classic abusive behavior. He always refers to me by her name. I understand that he is confused and needs care just like any other human being in a bad place, and I provide that care to the best of my ability, but I still find myself feeling stressed and morally resentful about him. Has anyone else had any similar experiences, and if so, what do you do about it? My faith and ethics has been a bit of help, but as for practical solutions, I'm a little bit lost. 

I am going to talk to the comment you made about feeling morally resentful about the man. First of all just because he was abusive to his wife does not mean he does not need care now. Your job as a nurse is to care for your patients as best you can. Your faith and your ethics can help you cope with the situation, but have no bearing on how you care for him. If you were to impose your faith and ethics on him and not care for him because of what he had done in the past, then it say something about you....not him. No matte what a person has done in the past, he/she deserves the best care you as a nurse can give him.