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New Beginnings
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Posted over 3 years ago Here is a question I am trying to find answers too. Your reply and ideas are appreciated! I am a middle age woman in a very turbulent marriage. We've been married forever. I love my husband very much. One minute he is sweet and loving, the next violent. He scares me very much yet I just can't walk out because of many reasons. For years I worked in the medical field. I haven't worked in almost 8 years Now I am completely tied to him financially. He is very controlling. I am afraid to stay and afraid to leave. My heart is breaking. For those of you who have survived an abusive relationship, who lost everything,... How do you start over, how do you survive in this economy with outdated skills, no money, home, and with dependants? Please RSVP. Thanks.
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Anonymous back to top |
| Posted over 3 years ago Hello A, There's some preliminary help online from the Mayo Clinic at http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/domestic-violence/WO00044 If your home computer isn't safe to use--perhaps your spouse monitors your use of it--consider visiting a library and using one of its computers. If necessary, you can easily retrieve the Mayo link if you use the Google search engine and type in the following: "abusive relationship" counseling. Here's a quote from the two pages of advice: "The longer you stay in an abusive relationship, the greater the toll on your self-esteem. You may become depressed and anxious. You may begin to doubt your ability to take care of yourself or wonder if the abuse is your fault. . . . Still, the only way to break the cycle of domestic violence is to take action — and the sooner the better." Abuse may be physical, psychological, or both. I urge you to read the Clinic's two pages of advice. I believe it's a great start for real help. The pages also include a toll-free phone number, National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE or 800-799-7233. Before becoming an RN and before I learned to recognize abuse, I witnessed some of its ugly effects on a family I'd grown very close to. The abuse affected the whole family; I fear it will have lifelong effects on the entire family. I admire your courage in posting this request for advice, and I believe there is real help available for you if you continue to seek it. In an emergency, don't hesitate to call 911 for help. And good luck to you.
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Anonymous back to top |
| Posted over 3 years ago This is a very difficult situation to advise on. My first instinct is to say to get out now, do not wait, just leave. I mean it sounds like the logical thing to do. Buit then again, how can you leave if you are tied financially to him. Your statement.......One minute he is sweet and loving, the next violent......is an often heard theme in abusive relationships. It is a mental ploy to keep you there. He knows that as long as there are times you think he is sweet and loving, you will stay. The previous post had some good ideas as to where to get help. Please do so as soon as possible. |
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Anonymous back to top |
| Posted over 3 years ago Thank you for your replies and answers. I'm very greatful. New Beginnings |
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Anonymous back to top |
| Posted over 3 years ago Thank you for your replies and answers. I'm very greatful. New Beginnings |
